Best Men

It’s nightmarish. Somewhere in the room a butter knife tink-tink-tinks against a sweaty water glass. The collective gaze of the room swivels and catches you in its headlights. You stand, shoot the sleeves of an unfamiliar suit, and, giving every indication that you’d rather be somewhere else, mumble out your best attempt at sincerity and emotion. Perhaps something like this;

“Um, I remember when George first met, uh, Karen (Wait, No! Karen? Karen! Yeah, that’s right, whew!) uh, and look at them, now! Who would have thought, Huh! Well, uh, aren’t they both lovely? Um, and I wish them both a life of love, and congratulations.”

Then you collapse back to your chair at the head table, still the center of attention until someone in the party shouts, “Hear, Hear! to Karen and George!” and glasses are clinked, and your horrible duty is past.

But it doesn’t have to be that way…The Toast is a transition from the formal to the informal. And guess who gets to be the bearer of this welcome news? That’s right, Baby, you’re about to become a hero, second in stature to only the groom himself. It’s a message to all present that you, as The Best Man, have decided to kick the party into high gear. A signal that neckties may now be loosened, and should migrate over the next few hours to the forehead.

A Few Considerations; When to take over? As indicated above, as the best man you execute and revel in the role of Master of Ceremonies. This is because you are an action guy who can keep things running smoothly. Often, the DJ or band leader expects that at the reception, he or she will introduce the couple as well as other members of the bridal party. We’ve seen this go badly too many times and we plan to put a stop to it. It’s more personal and gracious for a friend or relative to make the introductions, and chances are that person can pronounce everyone’s name correctly. While you would seem a good candidate for this task, you cannot handle it because you are in the wedding party, and if you were making the introductions, then maid or matron of honor would go unescorted – very un-dude, dude. But after those introductions, you’re in charge.

If you are using Inclusive Life for your wedding, we will provide you with written guides for your Best Man, Maid of Honor and Father of the Bride.  These guides will help them know what to do and what NOT to do.  In addition, it will help them write a few notes to be ready to provide a heartfelt and honorable toast.

chaplain royal

Royal D. Bush serves as a Multifaith Chaplain with Inclusive Life.  He studied at Andersonville Theological Seminary, and with the International Institute of Faith Based Counseling.  He holds a Bachelor Degree in business administration. Chaplain Royal shares two important messages: You are beautiful, you are loved and you are worthy, just the way you are.  And: Now is time in this world that every human being is called to life up the weak, offer a hand UP to the impoverished, cherish our elders and stand up for the oppressed.


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